Day 9: Lost on Purpose
Originally posted on Facebook January 13, 2021
“For whosoever will save his life shall lose it; but whosoever shall lose his life for my sake and the gospel's, the same shall save it.” Mark 8:35
“Lose” from the Greek word “Apollymi” means “to destroy fully.” It is translated “loseth” in our verse for today.
“...and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it.”
When I was eleven years old, I ran away from home. After leaving a note for my parents, I took off on a warm September day. I had my red faux fur winter coat on a hanger draped over my shoulder. All my other desired possessions were in a brown paper bag - a loaf of bread, a box of matches and my school books. I guess I had decided to continue my studies when I got to wherever it was that I was going. I walked a whole two miles to the other side of town to my best friend’s house. I decided to stop there for the night. Surely Kim could help me figure out where I could bed down for the night and sneak me something to eat for supper.
In the meantime, my dad found my note and began calling out for me. He searched the house, looking under the beds and in the closets. He searched the yard, then he and others began to comb through the woods behind our house.
Back at Kim’s house, I had convinced her I would sleep on the slide of their swing set for the night. I asked if she would go inside and get me some oreo cookies. She did and when she came out I realized my cover had been blown. Mrs. Owens called my dad and graciously took me home.
To my loved ones that day, I was lost. I had been feeling alone and misunderstood. Childish self-pity and self introspection, along with pre-adolescent hormonal changes sparked the fire of some very poor decision making skills. By trying to find myself I had gotten lost. And even though no one had really wronged me, I got lost trying to show them all that I did not need them. Once I was found, I found out something else. My family and friends loved me very much and certainly did not want to lose me. By running away, I guess you could say I was lost on purpose. A purpose wrapped up in selfish pride.
I have since found that by losing myself on purpose for Christ’s sake I actually find true purpose and and am able to recognize His deep, abiding love for me.